Shakahari’s Beware. (Our Eyes) Are Devouring Some Mutton: Thumka Thursday

I don’t know about everyone else, but there are definitely a few nights that are a little more than blurry because of external substances that became internal and consequently effed with my memory. Luckily for me, (almost all of) my experiences were self-induced (and they may or may not have been the last four Saturdays). Sadly for the hottie in this video, his actions and memory have been altered by some evil chudails who just can’t handle a man with a sexy six-pack.

This week’s Thumka Thursday song is “The Mutton Song” from Luv Ka The End. Has anyone seen this movie? Nope! But it doesn’t really matter because this is one of very few examples in modern Bollywood cinema that shows a leading man cross-dressing. It makes some in the queer world jump for joy seeing gender-bending get some visibility in Bollyland. Others may cast a condescending sneer at the complete lack of P.C. – ness.

Personally, I have a love-hate relationship with the song that’s more superficial than anything else. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Lyrically, the track is pretty fly. I’m rather obsessed with the line “Tu khol dil ka button button” — which to me is the 2011 answer to “Choli ke peeche kya hai.” The new line is just as Klassy.

Sadly however, I can’t get behind this monstrosity that is being paraded around as choreography. There’s all of this pectoral (I can’t even call it bosom) heaving and lifting from the sternum to show off the dude’s abs. Did you see a single thumka? Neither did I! If you’re going to go drag, at least pay homage to the world’s great chamiyas. They’ve clearly demonstrated that the way to make an impact is through your hips. (If you think that this dude is so cut and muscular that his hip flexors may be too tight, to you I say, stretch it out. Hell, I’ll even come spot him as he works those inner thighs and glutes)

I also can’t get over this guy’s facial expressions. He couldn’t even feign trying to look feminine and graceful. If he wanted my vote, he would have gone full abhinaya. There was so much scope for the entire performance look less cheap. #yrffail

I will give props where props are due, though. If I think about the song without the video, it is oddly hilarious. Musically – I can’t lie, I am a fan. The beat melody encourage me to drop-it-like-it’s-hot or even Jersey Turnpike in front of the dude I wanted to take home. (You know the story. Boy meets boy in a cage and they live happily ever…until the morning after)

Additionally, and possibly most importantly, I give mad credit to this fiiiiiine young actor who had the guts to cross-dress on screen in an industry where SRK played Raj and Sallu played Prem for 10 billion films. He took a risk, and didn’t worry about typecasting.

That takes some serious balls…balls that a lot of boys I know wouldn’t say no to chai-bagging.

Until next Thursday, keep stretching to get that thumka ready for the Jan 21^st Starlust Party!