Katrina’s Not So Hot “Chikini Chameli” — Thumka Thursday

Welcome to 2012! If you didn’t see our farewell to 2011 post, #failonyou. Luckily we are exploring one of my favorites off the list. Put down that poha, lest you choke on unnecessary carbs.

That’s right booboos, we are talking “Chikini Chameli!”

First things first. Kat, what the eff happened to yo face, boo? Hopefully Salman didn’t beat on you and you just got fillers. And hopefully the fillers are reversable. If you gained some lbs we wouldn’t care. In fact, we love the tandaroost ladies a la Madhuri Dixit in her prime. But your abs are more killer than ever — how did you become such a phool chand?

Khair, chodo. It’s not just the added cheeks that make Katrina’s look awkward. In an attempt to be sensual, she goes about pursing her lips, squinting her eyes and half opening her mouth. Sadly though, ladki dost comes off as vulgar and cheap. If Vidya Balan was able to be sexy without being too crass in Dirty Picture, where the lyrics were far more scandalous, we are shocked Kat wasn’t able to pull it off as well — especially given how many item numbers she’s been doing lately.

As a dancer there are certain things Katrina rocks. From “Sheila” we know that she has amazing abs and can rock a belly dance routine. Her arms a la “khwab dekhe” give her crazy extension and beautiful lines. We know her thumka is fierce from “Do Dhaari Talwaar.” So how come she can’t get her hands to look as beautiful as her face (used to). There’s an obvious lack of classical training which inhibits her from reaching full out Bollywood Diva potential. She’s missing the nazaaqt. If she can learn to speak Hindi and to actually act, mastering some mudras so her hands don’t look like Edward Scissor’s shouldn’t be THAT hard. No? Check out her hands at 1:26. #epicfail

The choreography overall in the song bothers me. Sure she’s supposed to be a vixen and erotic, but choreographer, Ganesh Acharya, takes it too far. I know that we will several people pelvic thrusting to this song when it comes on at the Jan 21st party, but for the film, with such a layered percussion section, there could have been a lot more interesting steps. I will give the dance team credit for changing up the angles of each shot making it seem like steps weren’t being repeated though. Also, bravo costume department, Katrina’s body looks smoking hot in this ghaati number. So much so that I am tempted to go become a Marathi fisher man if it means I get to dance to this song all day.

Even though this song is lifted directly from the Marathi film Jatra’s “Kombadi Palli,” I can’t hate too much on the actual song. Lyrically, anything with ankh maar-ing, thumka-ing and beedis — I am in! But, the video could have been better. Didn’t they think to get Hrithik up and dancing? Screw the story line! WE WANT HRITHIK!

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