The Top vs Bottom Debate in India
“Is a top pretending to be worthier than a bottom any less a form of discrimination than a straight person imagining themselves better than a lesbian, bisexual or gay one? If we as gay men want equal status in society, we first must stop this kind of mentality. Otherwise shouting for gay rights or taking part in any number of LGBTI Pride parades is of no worth.” writes gay desi blogger Harry Ess (using a pseudonym to protect his identity) in an Op Ed titled “Why do Indian tops think they are better than bottoms?” and published on Gay Star News.
Ess challenges the internalized homophobia within Indian gay male culture and finds humor in men’s need to box themselves in strict categories online, “I often laugh reading online status descriptions: ‘pure top’ or ‘pure bottom.’ I wonder how much time it really takes to change a bottom gay into top and top into bottom.”
He shares how prevailing attitudes influenced his own comfort level around the idea of bottoming, “When I was young and realized I am a gay, I also realized very quickly that in the eyes of society, the worst thing on earth is to get fucked. Society views people who get penetrated as inherently inferior to those who penetrate. The man who gets fucked is the cheapest person in the world and has virtues straight from hell. So in my youthful sexual encounters I never allowed myself to enjoy this and felt guilty about it being something I wanted.”
While the debate for equal status regardless of sexual position rages on, try to keep things hot and safe whichever way you decide to go.
Speaking of sex…check out Impulse Group’s video series featuring five, New York City based gay men candidly sharing their views on sex, protection, health, stigma, status and size matters…